Sunday, December 15, 2013

Things I've learnt in 2013

Despite having an assignment to be done, I have decided against my better judgement to write a blog post. I will regret having wasting my time for this, but for now, regret have not yet come knocking upon my door. Wow, I sound wise. Lol. There are many things that have happened in 2013 which I've learnt many lessons from and would want my students and friends and also family to learn. In this post, i attempt to list down what this year have taught me. 

1. People often forget that people are people. 
2. Money can change a lot of people.
3. Age make us believe we are wiser. 
4. Acquaintances are not friends.
5. Money can be replaced. 
6. Family do not grow on trees.
7. Showing another's fault makes you vulnerable for yours. 
8. The right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do.
9. Sometimes silence is better.
10. Sometimes we should let small mistakes slide.
11. It is better to do more than to do less.
12. Treat others with respect even if you are not treated as such. 
13. Be polite, it will help you in some way in the future.
14. Compromise.
15. Don't give up. Good things always come after all the hard work.
16. Listen to others.
17. Do not judge a book by its cover.
18. Even the smallest can make a difference.
19. What ever you say or do effect others one way or another.
20. Inspire others so they inspire you.
21. Sometimes its better to lie than to tell the truth for the sake of others.
22. Trust is not easy to get and to fix. 
23. Wrath destroys everything
24. While patients is a virtue, being patient all the time while getting wronged is stupid.
25. You can't fix everything.
26. Honour your responsibility.
27. You have to fight your own battle. No one will do it for you. 

The End. 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

De Megos Chronicle

Aliks sat on his victorian chair, drinking red wine. It was 1 p.m. but the curtains of his study blocked the sun from shining into the room. His office was dim, and Aliks had a newly lit cigar between his fingers. Ashes fell onto the carpet as he rested his arm on the chair’s armrest, without any regard. A soft familiar knock on the massive door of his study alerted the black haired man and he quickly put away his cigar. The door knob turned and a small head popped in. It was his younger brother, Alexei in his school uniform. His blazer buttoned and hair black as his own, only thinner and silkier was combed neatly to the side.
                “What?” Aliks asked, still slumped on his chair, and a glass of wine in his hand.
                “Can I ask you something?” Alexei asked, as he closed the creaking door behind him. Aliks sighed, his head pounding from heavy drinking last night.
                “Ask your other brother. He answers well than I do,” Aliks said, almost like a whisper. Alexei shook his head, but remained silent. He shifted his weight to his left leg, staring at the floor.
                “Out with it,” Aliks implored, sounding impatient.
                “Alex always tells me that you should be good to others. Be nice to people and they will be nice to you. That it is better to do kindness, or…do more than to do less. That’s how you get friends,” Alexei explained, without looking up. Aliks snickered at the advice and sipped his wine.
                “So?” Aliks asked.
                “But why don’t I have friends? The ones who will help me through thick or thin? Why am I always alone? I’ve done everything; from doing their homework…I gave money. I’m still alone,” Alexei burst; tears fell slowly down his cheek. Aliks could hear the sobs from where he sat, though Alexei had his head down.
                “Come here,” Aliks commanded, gesturing for his brother to move to his side as he turned his chair to face the young boy.  Alexei walked to Aliks’ side, to face the patriarch of the family with a hint of fear.
                Aliks slapped the boy enough to snap him out of crying, but not enough to hurt the young boy.
                “A De Megos never cries….well, at least not in front of others,”Aliks said, and put his hand on his brothers head.
                “You take his words to literal,” Aliks finally said, and now aware of his brother’s trousers, scrapped at the knee. He also realized the thread from his right sleeve, torn as if pulled harshly. Aliks now knew what was going on. Aliks sat back, and studied the frail young boy in front of him.
                “Sometimes, you’ve got to learn when to ignore, or to not care. Sometimes there are battles you’ve got to fight on your own. Sometimes, being nice isn’t a good answer. Well, I prefer you to be mean but I guess the best you could be is to have a little of Alex and me in you. You’d be perfect….but I prefer more of me,” Aliks said, smiling. Alexei smiled; a rarity that the patriarch showed a genuine smile.
                “Tomorrow, I’ll hire a martial artist to teach you a few moves. You’ll be fine,” Aliks continued, and drank the remaining wine in his glass. Alexei nodded and hugged his elder brother. Though taken by surprise, Aliks lets his little brother be, and gave a pat on the boy’s back. A knock on the door ended the exchange. Bob peered in the study, revealing only his shiny shaven head, and his sunglasses.
                “scuse me Boss. Master Alex says lunch is ready,” Bob informed his other two masters. The two went out of the study and down to the kitchen to find Alex in a flowery apron, happily smiling at his brothers while preparing dinner.
                “New apron?” Alexei asked, jumping onto a seat by the marble counter.
                “Why thank you for noticing!” Alex answered cheerfully.
                “Aliks gonna hire a martial artist to teach me tomorrow!” Alexei exclaimed.
                “That’s very nice of Aliks,” Alex said, smiling. His hair was shorter than Aliks’, messy and unkempt. He was the very opposite of Aliks.
                “yes. At least it is not going to waste this time….,” Aliks commented, looking at his twin brother who was still smiling, “and where did you get that apron?”

                “I made it myself. And I made one for Bob too!” Alex said, gesturing towards Bob who was in a similar apron. Bob nodded, putting his hands across his chest. Aliks rolled his eyes, wondering why his twin was just so weird. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Will for Justice

There is always a line between right or wrong.  While it is easy to say that someone or something is wrong, that this and that should not happen, to act against it is another matter. One needs to build up an enormous amount of courage, a sense of righteousness, an unwavering will and admit that there will be consequences even if you are fighting for the right: because, to point a wrong, you leave yourself vulnerable for others to find yours. The question is, will you risk your life, career and reputation just to stand up for justice, for something that in your mind and in your heart, you know it is wrong. And knowing that the wrongdoer has powerful friends, who can make your life a living hell, who can threaten you, leave you without the means for a successful career, and perhaps make it his life’s work to throw obstacles in your path: Would you take that risk to fight for justice? I have my answer, and there is no turning back for the choices we make… I say, it’s enough. Something must be done.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Oh My Fucking Head by Nad Shaky-speare

Oh my fucking head,
Forever pulsating,
Beating like a drum.
Feel like hitting myself dumb,
Make the pain go numb
But the little voice say
The price you’ll pay
Would be sevenfold of pain
This fucking poem is lame
To show how annoyed I am
The pills don’t work
The pain still lurks.

Damn it,
I’ve got a class to teach
Certain goals to reach
But my head
Makes me dead
On my thoughts
To educate these lots
Oooo…a teapot.
What the heck?
It is cohesion I lack,
What the hell…
This is rubbish,
Me, talking gibberish.
I should stop now,
But how?

Silly ideas flow
My hand won’t let go.
Oh my fucking head,
Forever pulsating
Forever screaming…
Like the teacher next door
Should I write some more?
Dah, sikit cukup.
Kepala nak meletup!

Monday, January 14, 2013

I Wonder By Jeanie Kirby of my passion.

I love teaching literature and my biggest idol in literature has got to be Madam Angie.

I discovered my love of literature (though am not good at it) when i was in high school....when you had to learn Shakespeare's "Life Brief candle". My English teacher at the time, Miss uh...uh...miss (oh dear god! I've forgotten her name!!I am ashamed of myself at the moment)...anyway, she told us that the poem was actually from Shakespeare's play called Macbeth. She told us the story of a man, ambitious, wanting to be king, and the three witches played a role (either merely foretold the ascension or perhaps prompted macbeth into being king). I was intrigued....and i asked my parents to get me Shakespeare's books. And they did and gave me a thick compilation of Shakespeare's Cleopatra (my favourite due to my obsession with ancient egypt), King Lear (havent read unfortunately), (can't rememeber the third play...was it Hamlet?, and finally Macbeth.

Oh dear, when i got my hands on that book...i read it....reading out the lines as if acting it out myself...Silly me...i was like what...13/14/15? I didnt fully understand the whole text, the subtext, the hidden meaning or the complexity of the play. I just wanted to act the scenes out....and when i got into IPBL, and when Mdm. Angie told us we'll be studying Macbeth, no one knew my excitement.. GILA. But i was a puny soul back then, maybe i let out a tiny squeak....squeak....Siti + kus = si tikus.

When we discussed Macbeth, i had so many many things to understand. So many things to grasp and to sink in. And the knowledge, oh the knowledge, when Mdm Angie broke it down into piece, every explanation, everything was so awesome! I was afraid to ask more but was content. That was the best lesson of literature i ever had... Memang obsess la aku.. T.T lol. So, my point was, that the feeling of knowing more, of having your world rocked by endless knowledge, knowledge that blow your mind, i want that for my students. I may have achieved it when i was teaching "I wonder by Jeanie Kirby".

So i was teaching them "I wonder" and i explained the grass, the meaning, what the persona was thinking and the best part was the stars....oh how innocent their minds were...They don't even know what stars are...and that we are in a galaxy. An in a galaxy alone, there are bilions of stars. And that stars are suns, and the suns have the own planets surrounding them, and since there are millions of stars, there are milions of planets in just one galaxy....and get this kids...we, humans, know there are 100-200 BILIONS of GALAXIES. That are only the ones we get to explore kids...scientists have estimated there are probably 500BILION Galaxies!... And i broke it down for them, when i finished talking....all silence.....I told them, how small we insignificant it seems, earth.

When everyone recovered from their shock...including me....(to tell you the truth, after explaining it myself, i felt small too... overwhelmed again by the idea) I knew their little world have just been expanded a little, That i know, because the noisiest of them all kept quiet too....the boy asked...where are we? At the projected picture of a galaxy...i said, you cant see earth. We are too small. A galaxy is just soooo vast. He fell silent. and i smirked...knowing the class was feeling what i had felt during Mdm Angie's class. (Madam Angie would slip in facts and information during her classes which always caught my attention). Ahh...satisfaction. Something sink in their brains after

And i explained the moral values...that knowledge is important, knowledge is power. And with knowledge i could overwhelmed them, and without it, you are nothing. Again, silence.... I guess this is the best lesson i've ever delivered. Not because the student sat quietly, copying down notes and doing worksheets. The best part is when you know, you have given them something that will forever be in their minds.

 Dah dah...masuk kelas.. banyak cakap saja ini cikgu


Humans have their good days...and their bad days. And one of those bad days, there are the worse of them all. And during those times, one may not be able to hold everything in. One would voice out one's displeasure....that happened to me...a few days ago.... but i didn't exactly say that bad.

Me: Dang it..i have so many things to do!
Other teacher: Don't complain.
Me: (silent)

I fell silent not because i am ashamed, but because i realized no one will appreciate your work, and nobody know's what you are going through. But, they are not to blame. Its just that i feel i have the right to complain once in a while...and let me tell you the task that i am assigned to. Then you be the judge whether i am overreacting.

Post/task i am assigned to:
1. Warden
2. Pen. Setiausaha Ko-Kurrikulum
3. Penyelaras PBS Bahasa Inggeris
4. Penyelaras Program Intervensi 2M'
5. Setiausaha Lembaga Warden
6. Guru Penasihat Kelab catur
7. Jurulatih Pasukan Catur sekolah (separate from the chess club coz its a entire school thingy)
8. Am teaching 4 classes at the moment. (form 1,2 & 3) meaning i am in two sessions.
9. since i am the warden, i am automatically in the unit disiplin,
10. Pen. Ketua Jawatankuasa StorKo-kurikulum dan peralatan Ko-kurrikulum
11. Jurulatih debate team
12. and others

There are more but i guess its too depressing to write. Besides there are others listed me as "Semua warden" or "semua guru bahasa" so that doesnt really count i guess. and i'm sure there are other future appointments. I really am tired and its just January...and the idea that i'll be in something in the future scares me. I think my plate is full and i'm afraid i cannot cope. To be honest, when i reviewed the lantikan in the file, i see my name popping here and there....and others seemed not to be as many as mine. Sure the big shots there say i am trusted....but seriously? Just because i am "trusted" so, i am going to do all the work for other teachers who are "not trusted" while we get the same amount of pay. I find this entirely depressing. Really.... I didn't plan to write this in my blog...but i've got no one to tell and keeping it in is really stressful. I just want someone to hear me thats all. Else i'll go crazy.

Nad: Chey, bukan main complain, tok ada masa blogging tok cam ney?
Siti: Sukati kumpun!

Sekian, thank you. lol

Monday, December 10, 2012

Rant: Sell-comb is a bully.

Once upon a time, I subscribed to Sell-Combs broadband service. So, one day, when I didn't need it anymore, I terminated it and paid the remaining balance. About a year later, came the bill, stating that I did not pay...I initially ignored it as i have paid the damn thing so i thought the bill was just a stupid mistake. But noo.....they sent me a letter telling me that they will take legal fucki** actions if i didn't pay. So, fine, I paid the bloody thing...AGAIN...and asked the counter lady that would this be the end of it? And make sure the damn thing is terminated. She said, is done. So I kept the termination and the receipt. The billing stopped and all was back to normal. Almost four years later, i wanted to change my number into a postpaid shit. So, i skipped happily into the Sell-comb centre yesterday. 

So then i found out i was blacklisted.
Me: Wait what?
Sell-comb guy: You have a debt of rm332 that you havent paid.
Me: wait what?
Sell-comb: You havent paid Sell-comb.
Me: Oookay...can you check when was the last payment made?
Sell-comb: No we can't..(looks at me like i'm some kind of lowlife.)
Me: But i've paid....TWICE!
Sell-comb: it says here you havent paid

He then later told me that i could check with their other branch. So off i went....same thing. Bullshit. I ain't paying them again. Now i'm hunting for a 4 year old bill that is probably eaten by termites by now. If i ever found it, I will frame it and hang it at sell-comb wall. I don't trust you Sell-comb. You are one lying mathafakka.

Thank you.....

Ps: It was my fault too...I should have never trusted them. I should have laminated and framed the receipt and termination forms.