Right right, settle down kids settle down....you! Tuck in your shirt!! You! You with the stupid sunglasses! Put out that cigarette!!!. (The only person other than me who would understand this is Amara)
Bhahahahaha!.. I was going to blog about something happy and nice, and flowery for my 100th post... Unfortunately, i am currently unemployed (pemalas), haven't done my assignment (pemalas) and my life is literally a flatline...for now.
[The above graph shows a rapid decline of life due to insufficient physical and mental activities and in addition of sleeping problems, thus inducing a zombie-like state to the patient: see visual aid below]
[ps: this is me... there is this cool website that turns your face into zombies!!!!!!]
Back to my story, i am having trouble sleeping...i have enough sleep, about 5-8 hours, but i can't sleep in proper times...
I find that i am nervous (i dunno why) sleeping at night, and feel more at ease when it is say 5/6am..and i sleep supernice when i know the sun is up or about to. This has grown worse because i don't know what is causing all this(slightly frustrated but can't help to admire the zombie me..chuckles).
AND even if i really sleep say at 12am, i would wake up every freaking hour.
It's like this:
1am.....zz..huh..zzz...2am....zzz..what?.......3am....f**k....4am...dang....5am....wake up for prayer...6am ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....... :D
This is posing a problem for my future career....bhahaha...i'm hungry....yogurt!!
Now, any suggestions?
Just wish i could sleep normally cause it is making me go cuckoo... Family members complain about me not being there in the morning and always kena (coz they dun u/stand: stressss). So they would disturb me sleeping at 9/10 am on some days and after that i can't sleep like...ya know, sleep. And when i do get proper sleep, weird freakin dreams would just bug me...crap...
Anyhow, that's all for my 100th post. Depressing i know...but hey, at least its something. Muahahaha...
Dreams are funny things....sometimes they are nice, sometimes they makes sense or little sense, sometimes they are just freaking WEIRD! [insert dramatic song]
Anyhow, i dream every night, most of them are just plain WEIRD! [insert dramatic song] . Sometimes not so pleasant ones...sometimes...just beyond explanation... (my head is just F***ed up is the only explanation i've got.) So last night's dream was of course WEIRD [insert dramatic song].
I was in a mental instituion..LOL. I was in one of those strap thingy..and the funny thing is the hospital looks like it is abandoned. I was like "F***, i'm dead". Anyone ever seen the television show, Kingdom Hospital? The horrifying hospital was like that...
[abandoned mental hospital corridor]
Anyhow, i found myself in the middle of an attempted escape. I could hear people's footsteps as they approach so i hid behind some kind of water tank. I hear familiar voices....hell, it was my freakin classmates! Leave me alone you psychos!! Hahaha! The weird thing is the "chaser" changes voices to those that i recognize, and those that i don't. Dang...
Aliks inhaled fumes and exhaled. He tapped the cigar he was smoking above a severely full ashtray until its ashes fell onto the miniature mountain of cigar buds. A wine bottle half empty rest at the edge of his little square table, which stood next to the leather lounge chair he was sitting. The fire burned, crackled now and then, and he stared at the fire’s dance. He, for a brief second, admired it. He sat there in his lavish study room for hours, till his eyes could bear the weight no more.
Blood drips from his small young hands and he stares at it through his teary eyes. His heart feels like it is about to jump out of his rib cage to run for a 400m sprint.
Aliks startled and awoke from his sleep and from his dream. He looked at the clock hanging at the wall. It was 4.22am. He had just napped for 20 minutes.
A sudden sadness, rage, pain and all the torment he had pent up inside him burst. Aliks took the wine bottle and smashed it into the fire place, making the fire burst and danced even more vigorously. He stood up and kicked the table next to him, pulled and ripped the curtains, he took the decorative axe that hung above the fireplace and smashed the walls, the wooden desk in the room, the shelves and all things that is unluckily within his sight. Aliks then turned to face the huge clerestory window of his mansion. He took a deep breath and threw the axe over with a cry, smashing the glass and triggered the alarm that rang through his huge estate. He smiled in satisfaction as he gasped for air. He then dropped onto the floor, that was adorned with debris from his amok, before breaking into a hysterical laughter.
Aliks laughed and laughed and laughed, till his voice slowly turned moaning and wailing. He was crying.
(I've actually written a few series of the Chronicles of Aliks/Alex but i seemed to have misplaced them and only some (maybe only one) is published in this blog. This lazily written piece was done at about 4am, took me about 20 minutes to write. I'm tired but i can't sleep. This is making me depressed.. :D but after writing, my eyes are now showing signs of allowing me-self to actually sleep. Maybe coz i stare at bright screen in the dark room. Ahaks. *yawn*~~ :D~~ *happy*) could't be bothered to edit. Good night...hopefully.
Wow, this blog has been totally abandoned.... *vacuums the whole place*..achoo! ~~~ sniff sniff... is there something dead in here? *febreeze*
Well, a little update since i woke up this morning feeling like wanting to write something. Ahaks. After battling some depression due to boredom, unemployment, self loathing, sleep deprived, and feeling like this "county" where i live in suck like hell, and nothing to look forward to, i figured i should create a list of things i can aim for, ya know, to look forward to.
Alex: my life sucks
Aliks: shut up.
Alex: my life sucks...
Aliks: shut up
Nad: Both of you shut the **** up!
Aliks: You shut the **** up!
Alex: My life sucks.
(To those who don't understand, these three are my alter egos. I use them to write my stories or to just goof around. Alex: the childish one. Aliks: The grumpy one. (They are twins) Nad: The in-between, sometimes refer to their sister.)
Anyhow, i might as well just present to you my "goals" for the "future" ahead.
1. take scuba diving license
2. travel to China, Japan, NZ,
3. take international English certificate
4. migrate elsewhere..here sucks..
5. join a charity organization
6. oh wait...pass my KISSM ngee...haven't open the damn book yet (this should be number one but nah...)
Well, that is all. Now i have to go run chores...buy things...sigh~~